If you had asked me if I was happy a couple of years back when we were feeling stuck in our small townhouse, I would have said of course! Despite the cramped quarters and sometimes challenging neighbours, we had everything we needed and had the most amazing view.
If you had asked me if I was happy when I was working a job that caused me a great deal of stress, that kept me up at night and made me feel sick to my stomach, I would have said yes. I was able to work from home and received a paycheck that helped cover the bills. I felt fortunate to have that opportunity.
If you had asked me if I was happy when I was struggling with Ulcerative Colitis, I would have said yes because it could have been worse.
Last year, if you had asked me if I was happy in my life, my answer would have been an honest yes. I was deeply grateful for my life and my family. I had everything I needed. I was happy, or so I thought. And really, after all, who was I to want more?
I had enough.
This word…’ENOUGH’ has become a real trigger for me. Why are we satisfied with enough?
I’ve had enough of living in enough!
If you follow social media or read the latest inspirational pins on Pinterest, you’ll come across the most beautiful messaging reminding us that we are enough. It’s a message that comes from a hope for us all to believe in ourselves, to love ourselves and to allow ourselves all the opportunities that come our way. It is truly a wonderful sentiment.
What I have realized however, is that living in this place of believing I had enough and that I was enough, was not allowing me to dream of anything more. I had lost the ability to imagine what could be possible for me. I assumed that what I had was what I would always have and I should just be grateful for that. ‘Enough’ had essentially become my mantra and in believing this, I now realise that ‘enough’ had actually become a place of lack and limitation for me. I was stuck in enough.
The first thoughts to enter my mind when I dared to dream of more were mired in guilt, judgement and shame.
I don’t NEED anything more, so I am just being greedy.
What would others think of me if I dared to want more out loud?
What if the things I want are trivial? Does that make me a bad person?
I want a simple life. More would just complicate things.
Each of these thoughts were rooted in limiting beliefs that I was finally ready to see. Once I saw them, acknowledged and gently leaned into them, I opened a space for desires to ring forth from my heart and from my soul. Not thinking. Not worried about how. Not concerned about anyone else. Just dreaming.
I entered the realm of infinite possibility. Who am I NOT to dream of more? Who am I to hold my gifts back from the world. Who am I to not live into my fullest potential, in the most joy and zest for life every day. And IF I were to truly live from this space, would I not be able to give more to the world around me?
Where enough was once a way of life, I now see it as a place where something is missing. It is lacking in some depth of feeling, connection and joy. It feels sticky and lacks potential. Beyond enough? Here lies movement, hope, expansion, potential, growth, change.
You might look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I’m enough.” I however would argue No. No!!!! You are SO MUCH MORE than just enough. You are brilliant! What would your brilliant self do?
You might tell yourself, “I have enough”. This could be enough love, enough intimacy, enough purpose, enough money, etc. But what if you just allowed yourself to lean into desire. What do you imagine having, just for the sheer fun of it. No shame, judgement or guilt. Just imagine! Can you even allow yourself to go here? What belief do you hold that you shouldn’t have more? Deserve more?
Perhaps it’s your job or your relationship and you tell yourself, “It’s enough”. What that truly means in your soul, is that it could be MORE. There is a wanting there and want comes from lack.
There is so much more for us beyond enough!!! But we get stuck here; in a black hole of logical reason and limiting beliefs. No longer dreaming, aspiring or imagining what is possible for us. We are denying ourselves the potential to see opportunity when it comes our way because we already have enough. There is no room for movement or change here.
What if we could detach from our logical and limited minds and live fully present in the realm of illogical imaginings and desire? What would we imagine for ourselves? What would our relationships look like? How would we feel about our bank accounts? How would we approach our jobs and work? How would we nourish ourselves? What would we do when opportunity landed in our lap? What would we choose for ourselves?
If I am living solely in enough, then none of these things above change. Everything stays the same because it’s enough. I’m stuck. I don’t change because I can’t see the potential of change in my life.
It is only when we allow ourselves to dream untethered and to play in our imaginations like we did as children that we see a path beyond what has become our normal of living in enough.
Working in the health and wellness industry, I recognize that wellness includes elements of nutrition, exercise, stress management, mind and emotions, occupational wellness, spirituality, financial wellness, and much more. Each of us is working on different elements of wellness at different times in our lives. Regardless of our focus, it is absolutely this ability to dream beyond enough, that paves the way for expansion in any and all of these elements of wellness. For if we can not first imagine more for ourselves, then how could we ever possibly find a path forward to something different.
What to do if you are realizing you too are stuck in some level of enoughness? If you are craving some level or change but are not sure where to start?
Start dreaming again. Wake up your inner child. Get out your journal and write about how you would feel in the arms of your perfect partner. Visualize your dream job and how it would make you feel. Imagine in detail the perfect holiday you desire to take with your family. Step out of logic, practicality and affordability. We have more than enough of these things to consider in our daily lives. For a few moments, allow yourself to imagine what lies beyond enough.
Dream into possibility because this is where the potential for change begins.
There is so much more that is possible for you.
You are so much more than enough.
Enough of enough.